Slow Sundays

Sometimes, I just like to take it slow. Today is a good day for it. We've had cooler than usual temperatures the last few weeks. In Virginia, May is known for warm, tolerable sunshine. Instead, we had grey, rainy days with temps in the 60s. The last few days, it has started to feel like summer is coming.

My weather app is telling me that it is 80 degrees outside. I can tell you there is a lot of sunshine and a warm breeze. As someone who doesn't love being cold inside, there is no AC on, the curtains are covering the windows and they flow gently with the breeze. I do not have the television on, nor the radio. I spent the last hour ish looking at the 'tok and reels with the sound off. I've enjoyed my coffee in silence and Auggie The Doggie has extended his status of relaxation by basking in the sun or sprawled out on the cool laminate floor.

I had big ideas for today. Maybe it was the encouragement of the warm breeze, but today has turned into a Slow Sunday and I'm here for it. So here for it that I'm writing. Not a research type of writing, just free writing.

I haven't sat and written in over 6 months. SIX MONTHS! That's a long time. Life has been a bit hectic, giving me even more reason to slow it down.

Twenty plus years ago I had a dream of my own health practice where people who weren't sick could go and get services they needed to keep them healthy and happy. I loosely kept that in my head as I went through nursing school, graduate school and my doctorate. I talked about it, but didn't do much with it. Sometimes the stars align and *poof* you fall into a circumstance or an opportunity. Burnt out, mental health failing, healthcare being more and more against my moral compass... I took the leap. I signed a lease and started putting the dusty, many years old business plan into play.

If it were not for deadlines and other people holding me accountable, I'm not sure when I would have opened the doors. And here we are... The office has been open for four months now! 

My "plan" has really morphed into something bigger that I didn't know I wanted. For example, I was so anti-botox and now we're changing lives with it... literally. There is such an emotional and mental connection to physical health and appearance. People have shed tears over the joy they feel looking in the mirror. Whether it be through some botox, microneedling or weightloss.... happy tears have been shed. Botox and fillers are no longer the frozen fake look we got accustomed to. We can use it for a natural, brighter, more alert look. The results can literally be life changing. 

People have come in for help with weight loss. Instead of "weight loss", I've come to call it Body Composition Improvement. We're doing this in the name of health, not vanity. Multiple people have told me "my PCP just isn't listening to me", "I'm uncomfortable in my own skin" and "my PCP told me diet and exercise". I can best describe what we do as us being the missing piece. We will guide you, prescribe you medication when appropriate and support you, but you have to put the work in. There is no magic pill. Being healthy is a lifestyle of better habits and choices.

In trying to get this practice rolling, I've had to make some very hard decisions. Decisions that have affected me professionally and personally. The original business plan has all been but scrapped because of what this has morphed into. This has led me financially devastated, but this is my choice to make the vision a reality. I need to work more ER shifts than I would like, including until 1am this morning. I feel like I'm failing on a regular basis. I feel like I'm in a constant state of being overwhelmed and I should be getting things done and then the paralysis sets in. Sound familiar?

So today is a slow Sunday. It started without an alarm. It's quiet. It's making a pot of coffee and sipping it while it's still warm. It's putting on comfortable athleisure wear in hopes of it providing some motivation to exercise. It's being ok if it doesn't. It's free writing with no purpose other than I like to. It's an optional shower. It may include making a large meal; it may not. It may include a nap in the hammock under the tree with the warm breeze. 

Who knows how the day will actually unfold. I am hoping the same kind of day for you too. Allow yourself low stress and anxiety. Celebrate your small victories. Find quiet joy. Exhale longer than you inhale. Let is all go today and just have the slow Sunday that you deserve and need.